Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Finding inspiration and noticing courage...

Several recent visitors to the farm said I should update the blog, and to be honest, I am not sure where to start or what to say.  Since my accident, the farm business has gone on; we have continued to show and sell horses, and I have an amazing new working student and rider who are on board (I will write more on them in the future).

But for me personally, it has been a time with lots of different emotions and feelings: pain, loneliness, jealousy, fearfulness, luck, gratefulness, happiness and joy.

Being laid up and not riding has given me a very different perspective on a lot of things.  I have spent a lot of time wishing I were riding, figuring things out, appreciating changes I make in the way my horses go, or just enjoying a hack.  However with the reality of the situation being that I still have four more months to go before riding again, I can get frustrated, feel angry, alone and just downright in the dumps.  So what do I do?  Try to find inspiration and courage to move forward...and keep plugging away.

My inspiration has come from a variety of sources, one source has been my husband, friends and especially my groom, Jodi, all of who have gone out of their way to stay in touch, help, and just call to say hello to catch up and keep me in the loop of their activities.  I am ever grateful for their support, good cheer, inclusion and well wishes.

Another easy inspriaton came from the great performances of our clients and friends at Burghley and the American Eventing Championships; the competitors were, as a whole, outstanding and proved that hard work and relationships produce definite dividends.

Courage has sometimes come from unlikely places.  Recently I had someone come and try horses and unfortunately her previous horse had made cross country schooling not so much fun. After trying my horse in the ring, she decided to go and try him at a cross country schooling facility.  Her body language to start was down trodden and not very confident.  After she had jumped a few sets of fences, we added a larger fence at the end of one of her loops; she was scared, and her coach and I had to convince her to give it a try.  The smile she had on her face after she jumped it was, as they say, priceless.

The courage to face her fears and to start conquering them gave me hope about doing the same with some of mine.

Putting things into perspective has also played a big part in this whole experience. I've been reminded that looking outside my own world can bring a different hue to the colors of every day.  The Olympics and  the Paralympics have made me appreciate that there are a lot of other athletes with struggles much greater than any of mine who have continued to progress again by putting one foot in front of the other.  And being involved with physical therapists make you appreciate you never have it as bad as "the other guy."
Tag and Me at the 2011 Fair Hill International - GRC Photo
I wish it were easier to put into words how I feel, perhaps it is best represented by the kind words and acts of one individual which especially touched me.  She has been here, after an injury, knowing the road to recovery was a long one with bumps and setbacks along the way and to be frank, she was just kind, and caring and thoughtful.  I will remember that for a long time.

I've had some setbacks in the last few weeks, and it would have been easy for me not to confront some of the issues or let them get me down. Instead, I thought of the people who inspired me and found solutions to my problems.  Relying on some of the intestinal fortitude that life with horses has given me, I kept at it, and things are now looking better again.

Neal and I continue to look forward.  Tag (Who's A Star) and Hope (R Star) are enjoying their vacations; Vegas is working on his flat work; and Nevaeh & Sport are going well with different riders as we look for new homes for them.  Our horse ownership group, the Dare to Dream Team, has added new members, and I am very thankful for their continued support.  We will be looking for our next superstar as soon as I am cleared to ride.

Come January we will be ready to rock n' roll with a great staff, great team of owners and great horses.

We hope that the ups and downs in your journey provide insights into life, or as we at C Square Farm are fond of saying "character building opportunities."  I keep reminding myself that character provides the wrinkles, edges and color in our lives.

All the best, and see you soon,


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